How does a person write the story of growing up in the middle, or should I say muddle, of a family of many characters? How can one be true to her own memories and honest with the memories of others when there is discrepancy of detail and interpretation?

The answer is: With great care. Care to cast a net of research for the truth, seeking as many voices, documents, and historical facts as possible. Care to review together that which is discovered. Where variables surface, take care to explain the rationale for choosing one over another. That is, diaries and letters will trump personal recollections, while historical timelines can mitigate dogmatic opinions.

How do you re-enforce the bonds that have been tested over time?

The answer may be: With much compassion. Compassion that allows another person to opine on the stories you've included and review the text you've written. Compassion to remove words that feel offensive to some even if not to others.

Is it worth it to make the book acceptable to the family members whose stories you've told? Absolutely. You need these people to be your advocates, not your critics.

After all, what you write will be around forever and forever.